First of all, ta daaa:
I have a desk. I have a computer. I have a wheel-y chair with an adjustable back (although I don’t actually know how to do said adjustments yet). I have an agenda filled with meetings and conference calls and even webinars. And some of them might be hosted by ME!
This is thrilling. I love working in general, and this job is a good fit in so many different ways. But it is also pretty daunting. I have never had a full time job at a desk before. I have had both a full time job and a desk job separately…but the full time job was a 24/7 live-in full FULL time job, and the desk job was at a place where people “get paid to think,” i.e. not very desk-job-y. Neither compare to this, which has a calm regularity to it.
It was a bit stunning at first, particularly when I was still learning the ropes (still am, of course) and I didn’t have a lot of actual tasks to complete. I would stare blankly at my computer screen and think, am I going to do this every day? FOREVER? Some day I’ll at least get mat leave, right?
This is a pretty stupid thought process to go through, but the change in pace and responsibility is, frankly, jarring. I have kept my own hours for a decade now, save my year and a bit of live-in work (which was jarring on a whole other scale of horrors and surprises and indescribable loneliness).
Being a grown up: it sneaks up on you, guys.