It’s been awhile, huh? Remember when I was diligently writing up every run I did? Me neither, it’s been that long.
It’s only four days until Jonathan and I run the Cleveland half marathon and, well, I’m undertrained. I’ve been running, I swear! I even ran a 10k race! But I haven’t been running as much as I should have been, or as far as it would have been smart to, and now I’m getting nervous.
I’ve got some pretty good excuses, I swear! But my body is not going to take those into consideration when it’s yowling to quit on Sunday. I’m anxious. I peaked at 15 km. I missed a full long run. It’s supposed to be 25 degrees celsius on Sunday and I’ve never run more than a 5k in heat. What if I wear the wrong thing? What if I get dehydrated? As a beginner, so many runs feel like a test, but this will be a big one, both physically and mentally. A tiny voice says, “yeah, you probably can’t do this.”
But dang it, I worked for months! From icy, slippery February nights in Toronto to sunny morning hill climbs in California, I ran a lot, and I want to run this race!
This is especially the case because we’ve decided to use the race to fundraise for Ten Oaks. (Hey, how about a dollar for each excruciating mile? Every little bit helps, friends!)
Anyway, stuff that voice. I couldn’t run a mile this time last year. I finished my 10k race in under 56 minutes feeling great. If I really, truly can’t do it, I want to find that out on Sunday at mile 12. I want to puke and have to sit down on the road, and to walk to the side of the road in embarrassment while people call “you can do it Jacqueline!,” as they always do to the saddest looking runner with their name on their bib. I’ll be really, really sorry if that happens, but at least I’ll know it’s really true.
But I hope that doesn’t happen! See you soon, Cleveland!